If you're reading this because someone has died, we're sorry. Writing an obituary is one of those tasks that lands on someone in the middle of the worst week of their life, usually with a deadline attached. This guide is meant to make that job easier, not harder. There's no test to pass here, only a person to honour.

An obituary should include the person's full name, birth and death dates, a short life summary, the names of immediate family (living and predeceased), a description of who they were, and service details if there are any. Most Canadian obituaries run 200 to 500 words. There is no single correct format, only what feels true to the person you're writing about. The rest of this guide walks through each part, with a fill-in template, three example obituaries you're welcome to borrow language from, and a free worksheet you can print and fill out by hand.

What Actually Goes Into an Obituary

What's the bare minimum an obituary needs?

At minimum, an obituary needs the person's full name, their age or birth and death dates, and the city or town where they lived. Everything past that, family details, life story, service information, is optional and can be as brief or as full as you want. A single paragraph is a complete obituary. So is a full page.

Should you include the cause of death?

Including the cause of death is entirely optional and is left out of most Canadian obituaries. Some families choose to name it, especially to raise awareness (a specific cancer, an overdose, a workplace accident), while others prefer a general phrase like "died peacefully" or "died suddenly." Either choice is respectful. Say only what the family is comfortable having said publicly, and remember an online obituary is permanent and searchable.

Do you need to mention religion or faith?

No. An obituary does not need to mention religion, and it's increasingly common in Canada for one not to. If the person had a faith that mattered to them, naming it (a church, a mosque, a prayer they loved) can be a genuine and accurate detail. If they didn't, there's no obligation to add religious language for the sake of tradition, and no reader will expect it. Write about what was actually true of the person, not what obituaries "usually" say.

How do you list surviving family members?

The common order is spouse or partner first, then children (oldest to youngest is typical but not required), then grandchildren, siblings, and parents, followed by a short line for pets if the family wants to include them. Predeceased family (people who died before this person) are usually listed separately, often with "predeceased by" as its own short line. In-laws, close friends, and chosen family can be included wherever they fit the family's actual relationships; there's no rule requiring only biological or legal ties.

What if the family situation is complicated?

Estrangement, divorce, blended families, and chosen family are all common, and an obituary can be written to reflect the truth without airing grievances. A simple approach: list the people who were actually part of the person's life, in whatever configuration that took. A stepparent who raised someone can be listed as a parent. An ex-spouse who remained a close friend can be named as such, or left out, with no explanation owed to anyone. If you're unsure how to phrase a specific relationship, it's fine to keep it simple and general ("survived by his children" without naming every one) rather than getting the details wrong under pressure.

Should you include funeral or memorial details?

If there's a visitation, funeral, celebration of life, or memorial planned, include the date, time, and location so people who want to attend can. If the family prefers a private service, it's standard to write "a private service has been held" or "a celebration of life will be held at a later date." If donations are welcome in place of flowers, name the organization and, if there's a Canadian charity involved, note that (some families link to a memorial donation page). If there will be a slideshow at the service, our guide to memorial slideshow ideas covers structure, photo count and music.

A Simple Fill-in-the-Blank Obituary Template

Copy this into a document and replace each bracket. It produces a complete, standard-length obituary on its own, or a starting point you can rewrite from.

[Full name], of [city, province], died [peacefully / suddenly / after a period of illness] on [date], at [age]. [He/She/They] was born on [birth date] in [birthplace] to [parents' names, if known and wanted].

[He/She/They] is survived by [spouse/partner's name], [his/her/their] children [names], and grandchildren [names]. [He/She/They] was predeceased by [names and relationships].

[Name] spent [his/her/their] career as [occupation], and was known for [a defining trait, a hobby, a phrase they always said, a skill they had]. [One or two sentences of a specific memory or story that could only be about this person.]

A [visitation/funeral/celebration of life] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [organization].

Three Example Obituaries

These are original examples written for this guide, not copied from any published obituary. Use them to see how the pieces fit together, and feel free to borrow a phrase or a structure if it helps.

A warm, traditional obituary (for a grandparent)

Margaret "Peggy" Doyle, of Summerland, BC, died peacefully at home on September 3, 2026, at the age of 87. Born in Trail, BC, on April 12, 1939, Peggy spent most of her life in the Okanagan, where she raised four children, ran a small bakery out of her kitchen for over a decade, and never once left a guest's cup empty.

She is survived by her children Douglas (Anne), Karen, Patrick (Susan), and Jo-Anne (Mike); her nine grandchildren; and her sister, Eileen. She was predeceased by her husband of 52 years, Tom, and her brother, Ray.

Peggy was known for her cinnamon buns, her card games on Friday nights, and her habit of remembering everyone's birthday without ever writing it down. She volunteered at the Summerland library for over twenty years and could talk to absolutely anyone for absolutely any length of time.

A celebration of life will be held on September 20, 2026, at 1:00 pm at the Summerland Community Hall. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the Summerland Public Library.

A short, plain-spoken obituary (for a father)

Wayne Kozak died on August 28, 2026, in Kelowna, BC. He was 71.

Wayne worked for over thirty years as a millwright and never missed a shift he could help it. He loved his boat, his dog Rusty, and complaining about the Canucks. He is survived by his wife, Donna; his son, Mark; and his daughter, Christine. He was predeceased by his parents, John and Irene.

A gathering to remember Wayne will be held at the family home on September 12. No flowers, please. If you'd like to do something in his memory, buy someone a coffee and tell them something good about their day.

An informal, personality-forward obituary (for someone who died young)

Sam Delacroix, 34, of Vancouver, BC, died on September 1, 2026, after a long fight with cancer that he approached, somehow, with more jokes than fear. He would want us to open with something funny here, but nothing anyone wrote was funny enough, so we're going with the truth instead: he was one of the kindest, most stubbornly optimistic people any of us have ever known.

Sam is survived by his partner, Reeta; his parents, Michelle and Andre; his brother, Theo; and a group of friends who are, frankly, a mess without him. He worked as a graphic designer, made truly terrible puns on purpose, and could fix almost anything with a YouTube video and enough patience.

A celebration of Sam's life will be held on September 27 at 2:00 pm at the Roundhouse Community Centre. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the BC Cancer Foundation in his name.

Writing an Obituary for a Specific Person

The general structure above works for anyone, but a few relationships come with their own questions. Here's what to think about depending on who you're writing about.

Writing an obituary for your mother

Beyond dates and family, an obituary for a mother often lands best when it includes one specific, small detail rather than a general word like "loving": what she cooked, what she said constantly, what she was strict about, what she taught you without meaning to. Readers remember a specific detail far longer than an adjective.

Writing an obituary for your father

The same rule applies: specificity over tribute-speak. A trade he worked, a team he watched, a thing he was stubborn about, a way he showed care without saying it outright, these tell people more about who he was than any list of virtues could.

Writing an obituary for your spouse or partner

This is often the hardest one to write, and it's completely acceptable to keep it short, factual, and simple if that's all you can manage right now. A close friend or family member can also write it on your behalf, or help you get through a first draft. There's no rule that the closest person has to be the one holding the pen.

Writing an obituary for your child

There's no template that makes this easier, and nothing here will try to pretend otherwise. Some families choose to keep it very brief. Others write at length. Both are right. If it helps, the worksheet below can be filled out in pieces, over several sittings, rather than all at once.

Writing an obituary for a sibling

Siblings often have the shared childhood stories no one else can tell, an old nickname, a running joke, a specific memory from growing up together. Including one of those is often more meaningful than a formal biography.

Writing an obituary for a grandparent

Grandchildren often want to include a grandparent's role in the family (what they were called, what holidays looked like because of them, a skill or recipe they passed down) alongside the standard biographical details. This is also a common place to mention a long marriage, a long career, or decades in one community.

Common Questions About Writing an Obituary

How long should an obituary be?

Most Canadian newspaper and funeral home obituaries run 200 to 500 words, which is roughly two to four paragraphs. There's no length requirement. A single sentence is a valid obituary, and so is two full pages; length should match how much the family wants to say, not a rule.

Who is supposed to write the obituary?

Usually a close family member writes the obituary, but there's no legal or formal rule about who it has to be. A friend, a funeral director, or a professional writer can write it instead, especially if the family is too overwhelmed. Whoever writes it should check names, dates, and relationships with at least one other family member before it's published.

Can you write an obituary before someone dies?

Yes, and it's a common practice for people who are terminally ill or simply want to control how their own story is told. A pre-written obituary can be drafted by the person themselves or with them, then finalized (with a death date added) when the time comes. This can significantly ease the burden on family members later.

How much does it cost to publish an obituary in Canada?

Newspaper obituary pricing in Canada is typically charged by the line or by the word, and can range from roughly $100 to $600 or more depending on the publication, length, and whether a photo is included; major city papers tend to cost more than community papers. Publishing an obituary on a funeral home's own website is usually included at no extra charge as part of their service package.

What's the difference between an obituary and a eulogy?

An obituary is a written notice, typically published online or in a newspaper, announcing the death and summarizing the person's life. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered at the funeral or memorial service. They often cover similar ground, but an obituary is written to be read by strangers and a eulogy is spoken to a room of people who already knew the person.

Can you write a funny or lighthearted obituary?

Yes, and many families choose to, especially when it reflects the person's own sense of humour. A well-placed joke or an irreverent line can honour someone far better than a stiff, formal tone that never sounded like them. The right tone is whatever tone the person themselves would have recognized as theirs.

Do you need the funeral home's permission to write it yourself?

No. Families are free to write their own obituary, and most funeral homes will simply ask for the final text to publish it, rather than writing it for you unless you ask them to. If a funeral home offers to write it, you can still supply your own version or edit theirs; it's your call, not theirs.

A Free Obituary Worksheet You Can Print

Trying to hold every name, date, and detail in your head while grieving is genuinely hard, so we put together a short printable worksheet that walks through the same sections covered in this guide: basic information, family to list, a few life-story prompts, and service details. Print it, fill it out by hand (or pass it around the family so everyone can add what they remember), and use it to write the obituary itself, whenever you're ready.

Download the free Obituary Worksheet (PDF)

After the Obituary: Keeping Their Story Going

Writing the obituary is often just the first piece of holding onto someone's story. Many families we work with go on to build a simple memorial website where out-of-town relatives can read the obituary, see photos, and leave messages, or put together a tribute video or photo slideshow for the service using old photographs and home movies, sometimes pulled off VHS tapes or film reels that haven't been watched in decades. If that's something you find yourselves wanting later, that's exactly the kind of work we do at Porthos Media, and there's no pressure or timeline attached to it. For now, we hope this guide made one hard task a little more manageable.